Espresso Cup Safety Board

Espresso Cup Safety Board

I have solved two mysteries this morning.

  1. Yesterday I was looking for my 4th espresso cup, thinking I had left it somewhere in the house.
  2. I have also determined that my espresso cups cannot whit stand a drop from 10+ ft.

Espresso Cup Safety Board Report:

During the morning of 5th of September 2015, shattered glass was found in the 50/52 side of our building. No missing reports were officially filled at the time, but there was one missing cup. A neighbor issued the alert upon discovering the crash site.

The ECSB determined that the glass was mine because it explains why my 4th cup is suddenly missing; inspecting the wreckage site, I found pieces of glass that correspond with the ones found in the other three espresso cups.

The trajectory and velocity seems to be consistent with what a cup of a similar espresso cup’s mass would follow pre-impact if the starting point was my kitchen window and no external forces where applied other than Gravity and standard atmospheric pressure.

There was no evidence of pre-flight explosions or fire of any kind before impact.

When the ECSB inspected my kitchen, they detected a missing vibration absorbing pad at the bottom of my espresso machine; this is used to reduce vibrations while brewing. On the day of the accident, the pad was removed by a technician for cleaning. The technician in charge didn’t put it back until the next morning. The technician was my mother, which was unfamiliar with the procedures.

It is known that making espressos in that machine without the pad, causes enough vibration to shuffle/move objects in the counter, as specified by the espresso machine manufacturer and personal experience.

Based upon the above information, the ECSB determined that:

  1. The glass is mine.
  2. The cause of the drop can be attributed to the barista in charge (me) for: “Failing to observe window position when security vibration pad is out of place and inability to realize the vibration pad was out of place overnight or during brewing operations, which lead to an espresso cup to move out of place and rest in an unsafe location”.
  3. The mug was affected by Earth’s gravity and therefore fell from its position to the concrete ground down below, shattering upon impact.
  4. The old saying that “if a tree falls in a forest and nobody hears it, did it really fall?” has proven to be inaccurate. This espresso cup fell and nobody heard it, yet, we have enough evidence to conclude that it actually happened.

The ECSB Recommends:

  1. Clean debris/impact site: [✓] Done
  2. Ensure window is not left open when dangerous operations are conducted in the counter.
  3. Ensure the vibrations pad is in place at all times and replaced immediately upon removal, especially overnight or during laundry/washing operations, which cause a structural shake to the whole house.
  4. Train new baristas about the security operations and procedures with the machine and security devices and operations.
  5. Improve Espresso cup missing and rescue operations, instead of foolishly wait for it to magically appear, issue an immediate search and rescue operation, even outside the premises, since objects are not known to vanish from the air without being actually re-located by an external force.

San Francisco, September 2015.